Friday, August 17, 2012

Do You Ever Just Hate Everyone

For some reason, today I hate everyone. Well I actually know the reason. What makes it even better was that my day didn't start off this way, it was actually a good day. So here's what happened. My parents thought it'd be a wonderful idea to have a graduation party the weekend before I left, literally three days before I leave for college. What a great idea. Hell no!

So I knew about this party for a while and have both threatened to not attend and/or get myself a graduation gift, a dog. But while my threats are potentially harmful to them and their cause, we both know it won't happen. Anyway so today my dad stayed home from work to do things and my mom is now home cleaning and cooking. You see, we just got granite counter tops so everything on them, and in cabinets below was deposited in the formal dining room, and now it's a mess. So she's trying to get everyone to clean and help her out, I know it sounds busy but I'm not. I don't really care about this party, I mean yes, everyone is essentially coming for me, but I didn't want this party at all! In fact the thing that put me over the edge was when my mom said I was ungrateful. You know what, you bet I am! You can't be ungrateful for something you never wanted, asked very nicely not to have, then even pleaded with not to have. I knew I was going to be swamped with stuff to do and people to see, and they were still stupid enough to have this damn party. Worse is that they're inviting all their friends and people who I don't even know that well. So today, I have grown to hate people, everyone, and have no desire to ever see another living person again.

Now even though it might seem like I'm a bitchy person I've actually been raised to be super polite, so I'll be having to go around to each and every person and small talk with them and basically acting like I'm having a great time. It's going to be so stupid. I honestly can't wait for it to just be over with so I can go to bed, wake up early to go see some friends, go to a reunion, and finally be back home with one last day before I leave.

Like I said I know I sound like a total bitch but let me explain why. First this party is all about my parents, not me. They did not respect my wishes. I honestly have so much to do. I'm not one of those people that say I have so much to do and then just sit at home and do nothing. Recently most of that stuff has been outside of my home and consisted of seeing friends, going to the doctor, getting my hair cut, going to other family events. All of that has left me really tired recently, and staying up late. So I've been sleeping in a little later than usual, about 9 or 10 AM instead of 8. Usually I get up and get ready to go out right away. This has left me with no time to pack or make sure that I have everything that I need. Now among my parents brilliant plan to have this party they decided to redistribute the rooms. My sister is moving into my room and my brother into hers. Honestly I'm kind of okay with this except for a few things. One, my sister and I shared a room until we turned our office into a bedroom. Now I wanted that room originally but my brother got it and then my sister got his room. Now I'm going to be going into that room anyway, when I'm home from college. It would have made so much more sense for me to go into there originally like I wanted. Also we'd/ I'd be saving time on not having to pack away all my things, including everything that I'm not taking to college. I guess in a way it'll make it easier though because this way everything will be totally packed for when I move out for good, but still. Now I'm struggling to find huge boxes to pack absolutely everything up, and the time to do it.

Another reason I'm pissed is because I still have to go through all my things and make notes of what I don't have, then find the time to actually go and get whatever I still need, hence another reason my parents should have shopped with me and not done it all on their own. Honestly I think I'm going to get to college, hate what they bought because it doesn't work the way I wanted it to or it's totally boyish or something. Then I'll have to send it all back with them and buy my own stuff with my own small fund of money, which is supposed to be going towards payment of tuition. Either way this party is stressing both them and me out, and it's just making me even more mad because they're so unprepared and I feel like they are not only wasting the little time I have left, and their own. And there is nothing more that I hate than people who waste my time.

Thursday, August 16, 2012

Getting Down to the Wire

Countdown 4....
And the countdown has begun! Well, it's been counting down for a while but it's closer than ever, both closer than I ever want and not soon enough. I have four more free days until the big move. I'm lucky to say that I only have one party and a family reunion to go to on the weekend. SO, tomorrow I'm basically free. Which means I'll finally start to pack and get things done, as well as hopefully relax. Then Monday will probably be the same, with no relaxing. 
A short review of my past few days has been this. So Sunday I went to the state fair with my one of my best friends and we had an awesome time! We ate a ton of good food and did a lot of window shopping. We also went somewhere else but it's a long story, I may or may not add it later. Monday flew by, I had a to get a shot before school so they squeezed me in for that, after that I was home. Tuesday was another home day, thank goodness and we got granite counter tops, fun fun. Wednesday was complicated. I had a hair appointment at 9 AM but my hairdresser overslept so we probably didn't start until 10 AM and I didn't get out until about 1 PM. At 7:30 I went to an old friends house and we went out to dinner. We haven't really seen each other since middle school and don't have much in common now, we were best friends in elementary school, so I thought it might be super awkward. It was a little at first but it turned out good and afterwards we went back to her house and I talked with her and her family. I didn't get home until about 2 AM. That brings us to today, my outing back to my high school to pick up some things, and then the zoo. It was amazing! Mostly because two of my best friends were there that I may not see until winter break. That's crazy! So it was really good to see them and spend one last day together before we leave and see each other again. It was also a-la-cart so lots of yummy food that isn't normally there, but my god was it expensive! So we had an awesome time and now I'm finally home. These last few days have felt super busy and jam packed and I'm truly exhausted right now. I'm glad I have a free day tomorrow, although I do have to go to my grandma's house to help her out with something. But other than that, I'm free! The thought is so exciting. 

Well not much else to tell at this point, other than I may not be posting as much because with packing and events I'm being forced to attend are going to be keeping me pretty busy. Oh and I think I may have the flu which is not okay at this stage in the game! Well, it is what it is.

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

A Week but One Day and a Phone Call

 I'm pretty sure that I mentioned that I still needed to call my roommate, and that she called. SO I have actually called her back, the next morning. We talked for almost an hour. She seems nice so that's good. From what it sounds like she's a neat person with lots of clothes, a new kitten, and sounds like she likes to work out. I love dogs, am not a neat freak but still neat, am in desperate need to go shopping for new clothes, and could afford to lose a few pounds which = I'm not super into working out. Still hopefully it'll work out. I really don't know how we talked for that long, she seems to be a talker though, and someone who likes to talk about herself, not in a bad way though. It's more to get info across than bragging. Either way she seems really nice, and I hope we both become friends. Or at least roommate friends. We got all of our room stuff figured out which is nice. I don't want to jinx anything but I have positive feelings going into this. Fingers Crossed!

It's that time, to this day exactly I have one week. In fact, at this time next week, I'll hopefully be unpacking everything or have just unpacked everything. Among never living away from home I've never moved before either, and packing and unpacking sounds terrible. Of course, as usual I'm freaking out. Both fortunately and unfortunately I'm very busy, so hopefully my mind won't be on it too much. Tomorrow I'm getting my hair cut then going out with my elementary school best friend, we went to different high schools, as well as went different directions interest wise, and kind of lost touch. Hopefully it's not too awkward. She's quite popular, gorgeous and dances, definitely not like me. Anyway it's just dinner, and she said something about shopping, I'm hoping not. Anyway hopefully that goes well. So then there's Thursday, two of my best friends and I are going to the zoo! That's super exciting, especially since I haven't seen one of them since she went to England. It'll be great to see her since she's moving states away, unlike the rest of us. So that will be great. Friday is actually free right now, but there are some plans in the works. Saturday my parents decided to throw me a graduation party against my wishes. None of my friends can make it since they're booked like me. So my parents invited a bunch of their friends. It's more their party than anything. So that will be loads of fun. Sunday we have a family reunion that I don't want to attend. Honestly it's just a bunch of people that I haven't met anyway, but my parents say I'll probably never see them again together, or otherwise. Of course I respond "Well I've never met them anyway so what does it matter?". Alas, I'm going though. Then comes Monday, so far another free day, but again plans in the works. Either way I'm planning on having Friday or Monday free from any plans, so I'll at least have one more day to relax at home and do whatever I want. Then the big T! I hate Tuesdays by the way. Somewhere I read why Tuesdays just don't make any sense. Monday is the day when people go back to work from their weekend breaks, Tuesday is just pointless, Wednesday is hump day, Thursday is Vampire Diaries, also the day before Friday, Friday is the last day of the work/ school week, Saturday is great, Sunday is good but back to Monday the next day. See, Tuesdays are just kind of pointless, although there needs to be a Tuesday so there can be the Wednesday hump. Anyway, Tuesday is the big day. I have to get up super early, like four or five. Well, we need to leave at like four or five. Anyway I still haven't packed a single thing and still need to do last minute shopping. I'm a little stressed and so glad now that I didn't wait to make this past weekend my lasts days at work, as I originally had planned it. Oh and still have to complete this online course that we're supposed to have done before school starts. I think I'll get on that after this post. Even though I'm super busy and very behind I know it'll all come together and be okay. Scary but okay. Off to finish my first college course online, and then read a little.

Saturday, August 11, 2012

The Dreaded First Call

So my roommate called today. No, as of this moment I still have not talked to her.  I got upstairs in time for the last ring but didn't recognize the number, I was going to put it back down and let it go to voice mail, this way I never forget to tell my parents so and so called and get in trouble, but for some reason I felt like it might be important and that I somewhat recognized the number. Well in the few seconds it took me to decide to pick it back up and potentially answer it went to voice mail. And guess who it was? Yes, I already told you, my roommate. As nice as she sounds I still haven't gotten back to her in the few hours that it's been since she called. I know, that's really bad! But I have to admit that I'm pretty nervous to call her back, I mean after the initial awkwardness we'll talk about what to bring, then what? I know some people talk about their families and interests and stuff, maybe her major? I just think it's going to be so awkward and uncomfortable, and I don't like putting myself intentionally in those situations. Unfortunately I'll have to get back to her sooner rather than later, I don't want to be rude and keep her waiting, especially in this situation, the first call.

So as much as I'm worried that it's going to be really awkward I have to get over it soon, like today or tomorrow, so I can call her today or tomorrow. Although tomorrow I'm going to the state fair and don't know when I'm getting back which means I should probably call today anyway, but I'm nervous. But then I could just get it over with so I don't have to worry about it anymore.

It all boils down to I will have to call her, probably soon, and probably tomorrow after I get home. I'll let you know how it goes!

Thursday, August 9, 2012

In Memory of....

This is my in memory of list. Basically it's just a list of all the dogs that meant something to me at my time at my old job. I know I'll probably miss more than a few so I'll be updating my list as I remember. So here's the list. Maybe I'll include some pics of them. This list is in not in any specific order, just as I think of them.

P.S. I started doing descriptions right off the bat and realized that it would take me forever. So, right now I'm just going to focus on trying to get all the names down so I won't forget. Some dogs, I'll include some bios, if there's something fresh on my mind about them, so I don't forget.

Remi (Brittany): He was gone for the week I started working, at hunting "school", and everyone kept talking about him. Saying how excited they were for him to be coming back. Eventually I figured out why. He's such an awesome dog! He reminds me of Peter Pan, a boy that won't grow up. He just has this sweet fun child like spirit about him. His mom was also pregnant when I started and had a beautiful baby girl. He's such a sweetheart with the greatest spirit, and I will truly miss him.

Piper (Golden Retriever): I'm totally stealing the name for one of my own dogs! Ah Piper, she's got a personality, and I love it! I can't really put it into words, she just has this attitude about her, but not in a bad way. She always did get really pissed off when dogs stepped on her when she was sleeping, or when dogs were barking too much. The thing I really loved about her was how excited she got to see me, it made me feel special. She would always jump up on me and put her both paws on one of my arms while I pet her with my free hand. She loved to be pet and returned the favor with my licks of love. She is one of the most gorgeous goldens I've ever seen and I want one that looks just like her and acts like her! She totally reminds me of a really good friend of mine.

Pickles (Old English Sheepdog): I will miss Pickles that's for sure. And yes, her name is seriously Pickles and no, I don't think the people who own her have any kids. Even through her terribly high pitched barking. I'll miss the way she liked to be pet and how she walked so slowly to go home. (No dogs did that, they were all running and pulling on there leashes, not Pickles.) Anyway even though she wasn't an absolute favorite of mine I probably worked with her two days a week, give or take.  As annoying as she could be I'll miss her, she is a really good dog.

Wolf (Black German Shepherd): The big black German Shepherd that made me want a big black German Shepherd. He definitely was a bigger dog and German Shepherd. He was tall and didn't have that weird, jut out your legs German Shepherd. He was a tall handsome boy with a set of gorgeous amber eyes. The only thing was he would sometimes bark at you as you passed his kennel, it can be quite intimidating. But he was so cool. He's just one of those dogs that you think are so cool. He would chase his tail a lot, and it was cute. He loved to play with other younger dogs, it was funny watching him be so good with the littler dogs. I think this was just with me but he would always try to, and sometimes succeed with going between my legs. Golden Retrievers are notrious of doing this but I never had a shepherd. Anyway sometimes he'd surprise me so much I had to stand on my tip toes so he could bulldoze through. Otherwise I'd have to practically climb off of him or go backwards. He was such an awesome dog and the reason that an ALL Black German Shepherd is on the top five-ish on my list to have in my lifetime.

Buster (Belgian Sheepdog): The last bath I ever gave. *More Soon*

Buster (Lab Mix): Buster's head smelled like tacos, or Mexican food, whichever you prefer. It was pretty awesome! *More Soon*

Frankie (St. Bernard):

Kylah (Golden Retriever):

Tucker D. (Golden Retriever):

Jasmine (English Golden Retriever): We actually shared a last day! Jasmine was a frequent boarder and happened to be boarding with us during my last few days. She was supposed to get picked up my second to last night but wasn't, and was still there when I got there my last day. I was really glad to be able to say goodbye. She was my little polar bear girl, she reminded me of a polar bear. Which is ironic because she's moving to Florida.

Bailey Hall (Shitz Zhu):

Reggie (Laberdoodle): He's a smaller laberdoodle that's for sure, but he is so sweet. He has a very shy sweet personality. He was staying with us during my last week and we really got close.  In the beginning he was very shy of me and everyone else, including the dogs. For some reason he tugged at my heart a little and so I gave him lots of special attention. We then became very close and he would get very excited when I came in with the little dogs. He was so amazing. I also noticed that he was still very shy with other people when they were putting him away for a meal or taking him out to our yards, but not me. It made me feel good to know that we shared a bond. I was really sad to leave him that day!

Oliver (Laberdoodle): I didn't know Oliver extremely well as he just came his first day a month or two back and then didn't come until the week I was leaving. But, that said he and Reggie got along so well. They were almost exactly the same size and reminded me of little brothers. I wanted to steal them both so bad! They were just the perfect little pair. Reggie being more shy and Oliver more outgoing.

Oliver (Big Black Lab):

Stanley (Basset Hound):

Bug (Moxie) and Lucy (Puggle and Pug):

Lucy (Miniature Dachshund):

Louie (Cockapoo):

Cooper (Cockapoo):

George (Cockapoo): I only met him once, but I absolutely fell in love with him. He got me hooked on Cockapoos. I loved the way his hair was really long and kind of "jumped" up and down with his movements.

Grandpa George (Springer Spaniel):

Sammy (Springer Spaniel):

Halo (American Bulldog):

Charlie (American Bulldog):

Sampson (Bull Mastiff):

Jake and Kona (Great Danes):

Yava and Bubbles (Great Danes):

Bristol (Great Dane):

Prince (Black Lab):

Jake (Yellow Lab):

Sammy and Dylan (Yellow Labs):

Ada (Black Lab):

Brody (Black Lab):

Bella (Pit Bull):

Betsy Ross (Pit Bull):

Miika (Pit Bull):

Bear (Black Mini American Eskimo):

Pepe (Chihuahua):

Samantha (King Charles Cavalier):

Luna (King Charles Cavalier):

Nala (Greman Shepherd Dog):

Elanor (German Shepherd Husky mix):

Trooper (Old Black Lab):

Greta (Greater Swiss Mountain Dog):

Piper and Taggart (Greater Swiss Mountain Dogs): Siblings but belong to different families, it's a small world. 

Bear (Tibetan Mastiff):

Bella (Bernese Mountain Dog):

Smores  (Clumber Spaniel):

Kili (Brittany):

Maya (Shiba Inu): Actually her mom told my dad about the job. So thanks to her I worked there for almost a year!

Teddy Bear (Teddy Bear):

Otto (German Shepherd):

Vivi and Nanaki (Tiny Pugs):

Ginger (Terrier mix)

Valetta (Terrier mix)

Milo (Rhodesian Ridge-back mix):

Diesel (Alaskan Malamute):

Diesel (Rottweiler):

Dash (Balck Lab):

Hudson (Black Lab):

Otis (Pomeranian Poodle mix):

Jack (Black Lab):

Jack Moe (Black Lab Collie mix):

Mack (Lab mix):

Zoe and Annabelle (Laberdoodle and Cockapoo):

Buttkus (Newfoundland):

Biro and Scrappy (Miniature Schnauzers): 

Sadie (Goldendoodle):

Taz (German Shorthaired Pointer):

Pinot (Shitz Zhu):

Maddie (Puggle):

Newton and Roger (Lab mix and White Boxer):

Noah (Lab mix): He has elbow displesia, and is a super sweet boy. 

Sammy (Bulldog):

Holly (Yellow Lab):

Sam (Brindle Boxer):

Sugar (Golden Retreiver):

Cooper (Black Flatcoated Retriever):

Myles and Mason (Mastiffs):

Misty (Terrier mix):

Gus (Boxer):

Bernie (Cockapoo)

Eli (Dachshund):

Roxie (Mini Goldendoodle)

Wyatt and Duncan (Goldendoodle and Cockapoo):

Louie (Goldendoodle):

Shadow (Cockapoo):

Sprecher (Lab Collie mix):

Harper and Bogart (Laberdoodles):

Rosie and Serena (Pit Bulls):

Kody (Beagle mix):

Khunna and Mottata (Laberdoodle and Border Terrier): I mean come on, named from the Lion King, how cool!

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Reflection and Moving Forward

Wow, I can't believe I'm a "free" woman! Free from work that is. This is my work wrap up post because I didn't after work on my last day. My mom took me to Chili's to celebrate my newly found freedom.

So how was it you ask? Well, it was okay. I was with the big dogs for a bit and the little dogs for an even littler bit. There were lots of dogs that I was happy were there on my last day, and yet there weren't. I don't know if it was me not really letting the situation sink in or what, but it didn't feel like it was my last day. My boss, who's up front always, left without saying goodbye or anything to me, so that was kind of disappointing. She just left like any other regular day, and for her it was. But still, it would have been nice to have been recognized for working there just a month shy of a whole year! Like I said, I was disappointed and it was kind of weird. Whatever. At least I work with got to say goodbye to people I liked. No bad people on my last day, thank god! So that was nice. What was even nicer was getting home and being able to delete two people's phone numbers. I know that doesn't sound very exciting but to me it means the world to never have to see them ever again! Now they're just "somebody that I used to know",  but I couldn't be happier about it! Now it should be smooth sailing until I'm off to college, which is exactly two weeks from today. Scary!

However happy I am though it's also really sad. I think I said it before, people are easy to keep in contact with, it's the dogs that, obviously, are impossible to keep in contact with. It was really sad saying goodbye to everyone and I tried my best to give every dog my love and best wishes! I didn't cry until I was counting towards the end, then my eyes started to water a bit but I got myself under control before any real damage was done. Overall it was terribly happy and terribly sad. Only one of my fellow employees remembered it was my last day until about half an hour to go, then the others asked when my last day was, and I told them that day. They said I must be really happy, all of them are sick of all the crap/drama going on right now too. I said yeah, happy but sad at the same time, bittersweet. I just feel bad for all of them, because they have to deal with all the crap still. I told them I definitely wouldn't miss some people and they laughed and "I bet and I'm jealous". They are really good people and I hope my former boss can put an end to all the drama for the sake of her business and all the workers sanity. The best way to do that would be to fire the problem people since whenever they're told to do something they ignore it or are real bitchy about it. Anyway, like I said, bittersweet.

Now it's time to move forward. Remember the past but not to dwell on it and look forward to the future. If it goes like I plan, it's going to be an amazing one!

Friday, August 3, 2012

Quick Before Last Day Update

Yes, it's coming to a end. In a short 6-ish hours I will be a free non-working individual. One more five hour shift and I'm done with this current job for the rest of my life. I'll be leaving in about 45 minutes, according to the clock as I'm writing this exact sentence.

While it's not the end yet, I really quickly wanted to briefly think about everything before I leave. As well as think about the doors that being free for two and a half weeks opens up for me. Like Camp Nanowrimo! I'm actually going to have time to do that! Exciting! It also frees up much needed time to go get all the last minute things done and bought before I leave. I almost wish I would have quit earlier because I'm realizing how much I actually have to do. That and it would have saved me some stress, that may or may not take years off my life expectancy. Anyway still a lot to do but I'm glad I don't have to worry about work anymore. 

The end is  definitely bitter sweet. There are so many things I'm going to be so sad about. Today I'm planning to really take in everything about my job because this is the last time that I'll be doing many of the those things. One of the things I'm going to be especially conscious about is the dogs. With people it's easier because of all the social media we have these days, to keep in touch. There is a very good chance that I will never see any of these dogs ever again. The thought makes me terribly sad.

It's fun because we always say which dogs we loved to/are going to "steal" and take home with us. Or even sometimes, if a dog id being really annoying, which dog we'd use as a mental image if we ever got the chance to go to a boxing place to blow of steam. It sounds terrible but we'd never actually do anything, it just helps for those really bad days when you just can't take it anymore.

So many of these dogs actually feel like family. I know that sounds weird but we have dogs that come the same day every week, and even dogs that come two-three times during the week, and an occasional almost every day dog. We see them so often, expect them to be there. In fact sometimes we worry when they're not, or don't show up for a week or two. These dogs truly become like a part of our family. We love these dogs as much as their owners do and they almost feel like ours. It's really a great feeling. It's especially rewarding when certain dogs get really excited to see you when you come to work. Just like we look forward to coming and seeing they get so exicted and happy to see us. Dogs truly have unconditional love! It's really amazing and part of why this job has been so amazing and rewarding. It's also why today is going to be terribly sad.

Today I'm going to try to spend a little time with every dog there, even if it's only for a few moments. Just to take the time to say goodbye and let them know what they meant to me. Even the ones I don't care for as much, or are a little annoying, I'm truly going to miss them all.

I actually starting saying my goodbyes yesterday as I know some of those dogs won't be back today. Like my Golden Tucker! I already miss him so much! My Golden Piper also might not be there today. And then there was my new friend Taggert a Greater Swissy. Anyway, I'm going to get ready to leave and go. But I'll probably post later tonight after I get home. I'm also planning on documenting a list of all my favorite dogs on this blog so I'll never forget them! Okay gotta go put on some water proof mascara because I'm pretty sure I may shed a tear or two. More about my last day tonight!

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Quick Update!

I still haven't talked to my roommate yet but I just stumbled upon a photo of her! Okay it wasn't exactly by accident. I couldn't find her on facebook, which I thought was weird, but then I don't have a facebook either so I guess it's not that weird. Just a little because I thought pretty much everyone had one except me. Anyway I just checked to make sure she is still my roommate because I'm planning on calling her soon...ish. So I thought I'd google her just to see what came up, and I found her photos from graduation. Yes it's totally creepy. But I have every right to know who I'm going to be living with for a whole year right? I just wanted to know a little about her. Plus I'm pretty sure everyone else with a roommate is doing the exact same thing. You never know about people. Plus it doesn't help that one of my friends, who has a lot of older siblings, told me that all her siblings had weird creepy roommates. She has four older siblings! How could everyone of them get a weird roommate. Just luck I guess. Anyway, from the pictures she looks nice. Fingers crossed that that's true and hopefully we get along really well. Becoming good friends would be really nice, but for now we'll go with cordial roommates.

A Little Overexcited

Some of us are just a little to excited about college. And some of us a little under excited. If you read any of my previous post you can probably guess which one I am. Before I get into the point of this post, my parents, I thought I'd officially share my thoughts and concerns about college. So here it goes.

1.) I am self-conscious. Yup that's me. Even though I might seem different in person or here I'm extremely self-conscious. I'm always worried about what people think of me. (In fact this has been a probably the most major factor in worrying about my roommate. I'm not thinking will she be a crazy murderer or a nudist or do things I hate, I'm worried she won't like me.) I'm very self-deprecating. It's not that I want to be, I'd love to love myself, that sounds weird but I think you get what I mean. Anyway, I just don't. Being a woman it has the most, probably all, to do with my appearance. Which brings us to:
2.) I could afford to lose a few pounds. There are some other things I don't particularly like about myself and wish I could change but I won't get into all that.
3.) I've never been in a relationship. So I went to a private school, and we didn't have a great selection, at all. It was super small in fact. Even the "hot" guys, well they weren't that hot. But they sure thought a lot about themselves, the real world may be brutal to them. Anyway, I never attended any sports things or anything to meet other guys. So while some girls went out and did that I didn't and have never been in a relationship. That doesn't bother me to much but it does that I have basically no experience and I wonder who would want someone like that? No on wanted me in high school, but then again, no one wanted about half the girls there. *Again girls outnumbered the guys pretty good* Still, sometimes you wonder, how did that girl get a guy and not me. We even had some, "how the hell did that girl get that hot guy and I can't find anyone?". (Those girls just weren't the most outwardly attractive.) Basically that also has made me very self-conscious. Not just about college but life to, sometimes I wonder will I ever find someone anyone? The thing is though, is that I'm not one to settle. Plenty of girls did that at my high school and I'm just not willing. However it will look pretty pathetic if I don't ever find some people.
4.) Making Friends. I think there are six people, including me, who will be going to my college. That's a kind of a lot since we're all out of state and from such a small high school. (Not super small about 800-1,000, could have been smaller) Anyway that's scary, especially since I know at least four of them are not in my dorm, it'd be nice to know someone for the whole dorm/floor get together things during orientation week.
5.) Roommate. Living with a stranger, whom I have yet to call or receive a call from. I will get to it if she doesn't call me. Right now it's probably the maybe she'll call me first thing, at least on my side. Anyway living with a complete stranger is scary. As said before, I don't know if she'll like me. Or if I'll like her. Best case scenario being we become lifetime friends. Hopefully at the least we'll get along and be friends, or somewhat friends.

I'm sure this is something that everyone goes through, at least one of these points anyway. But since my friends are all gone on vacation and at camps and stuff I haven't had anyone to talk to so I've been feeling pretty lonely about this, at least until they get back.

*Sorry quick break to eat then sucked into an episode of Criminal Minds, and I don't want to re-read just to make a smooth transition so it may be a little choppy*

So for the second part of this post. The parents. Now I'm all for my parents sharing this experience with me, as I'm the first to go to college but they need to back off a little. I swear they are just going nuts. What really is making me a little angry, and why I had to write this post, was that they keep buying stuff without me. Now I know my mom wants to save money, and I have expensive tastes, but I wouldn't go crazy or anything. I really appreciate that they're helping me out with this and not making me buy everything myself. Still though, I'd really like to be included in MY life. They're not going to be the ones who are living in my dorm at college, they don't have to live with THEIR choices I DO! So basically I've told them to stop buying stuff but of course, it falls on deaf ears, that or I get yelled at because they manage to turn it around on me. The only thing I have chosen so far were my towels and washcloths as well as my comforter. They got me a fridge and microwave, a mirror, some storage stuff (which isn't going to work because of how the closet is set up), and other little miscellaneous stuff that I would have liked to buy. At my age, it's all about the looks and then the function. To my parents it's what's cheapest and functional. Not to mention that I would like the college experience of going to the store, with them, and buying the stuff myself. They always go to the store for them and there home projects and come home with stuff for me, not telling me they're even looking, or inviting me to come. I swear that basically they're going to buy everything, pack it all up, move it all in, set it up the way they want it, and basically my job is just to show up on moving date to be dropped off. It's making me so frustrated.

I also think that there's more stuff I need to get but they don't think so. My mom is on a business trip right now but when she gets back I'm going to talk to her about it, and hopefully we'll get it all worked out so I'm not just a bystander in the whole college process but actually making decisions for myself, that I have to live with, at least for a year.